Along with news, protests, common sense and tips from Wendy Moorcroft regarding lamb stew recipes, it has just emerged from a news conference briefing held by SABC head Hlaudi Motsoeneng that no-one else knew about but which was thankfully not cancelled at the last minute, that qualifications are to be outlawed forthwith for upper echelons of SABC management; i.e. Hlaudi Motsoeneng.
"Apart from being a neo-colonialist, bourgoisie elitist concept that is designed to keep the masses crushed under the heel of logic and advancement, the burden of qualifications leaves the leadership of the country open to constant questioning and the unreasonable expectation of doing the job that they are actually expected and paid to do," said a spokesperson of Motsoeneng who was not qualified to confirm or deny their culpability vis a vis the aforementioned statement.
This wide-ranging philosophy is due to be rolled out via all SABC television and radio stations over the next several weeks culminating in the local elections due to be held on 3 August. It is expected by then to have garnered support among the majority of the voting public to the extent that qualifications of any nature will be deemed to be anti-revolutionary and therefore subject to immediate ridicule and disqualification from the voters roll.
This strategy is part of the wider ANC plan to become incomprehensible not only to the local voting public and the leadership of SADEC, BRICS and SAFA, but also to the world in general and possibly any potential alien invasion.
"I saw 'Mars Attacks,'" said Motsoeneng's spokesperson, "and I never want to hear that music again."
